oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
