Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
