The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
