My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
