mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
