Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
