Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
