Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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