I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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