yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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