super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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