my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
