I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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