who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
