Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize