My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
