My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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