Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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