Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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