Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
