There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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