My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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