When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize