Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
