An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
