I would go down on you faster than GM stock
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
third nipple confirmed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
