i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dick very happy bro
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
