big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
