Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
