I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
