all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
