I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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