He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
