Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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