he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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