She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
