some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
