think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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