anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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