Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
