Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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