The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
