I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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