what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
