two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
