Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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