Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
