There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
