You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
