Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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