some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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